Friday, February 17, 2012

For My Family

This is for my family...my loves...for those who have not let go of me.

My family, you have to know that I think of you daily. And when I do, my heart smiles, and sometimes I even cry a little from the joy that I feel of knowing you all.

This is for the people that I have been blessed to walk out this life with. This is for the people that I carry in my heart.

This is for Ester..my mom. She doesn't know how to quit. She is the picture of strength. Her prayers has covered me and my sisters our whole lives, and I am sure that they will continue to cover us. She is unwavering and steadfast, and we each have a piece of her beauty that was given us and that we will pass along to our children.

This is for Darryl...my father. As a child, I knew that I was always safe with him around. He is ever giving and ever believing in me. His support has been a blessing. He has been a shoulder to cry on, a hug needed after a long week, a listening ear, and the best person just to chill and watch TV with. I know that his heart is with me and his prayers protect me.

This is for Brandi...my big sister. She doesn't survive, She lives! She has experienced catastrophic loss last year, yet she still believes. She is still standing. She has a faith that I hope to obtain one day. She encounters hard times like everyone else, but I never worry about her. I know nothing can stop her or hold her back. She understands who lives inside of her. Oh, to believe like she does one day. She is truly a steel magnolia.

This is for Brighton...my little sister. My life long best friend. No one knows me like her. No one picks up on my facials and what they mean better than Bright. No one understands the tone of my voice and what I am really saying like she does. She is my little sister, and I have no problem saying that I look up to her. Time with her is cherished. Years have gone by that I have prayed and cried to God for a best friend, and at last I finally can hear him say to me that I gave you a best friend when you were just 2 yrs old. She has been with you ever since. I love you Brighton. My best friend.

This is for JONAS! My big brother...He is a freakin' hero! I watch as he loves and takes care of his family. He is loyal and trustworthy. He is a servant and a prince. He is the best big brother a girl could have. He is protective, annoying, fun to be with, and supportive. He has helped me through some pretty hard times, and has welcomed me into his home and allowed me to be a part of his family. I only say this about a few people, and I will say this of him. Everybody needs a Jonas in their life. I hope to be some body's Jonas one day.

This is for Cyndi...my beautiful friend. I wonder if she knows that beauty is her very essence. She radiates the room with it. People are drawn to her because of her accepting and loving spirit. No one is alone with her around, no one is left out. She is a mother, wife, sister, friend, daughter, assistant, and hostess. She does it all like a freakin champ! Cyndi, you can do anything you want to. Thank you for being a gracious friend to me. Much love to you.

This is for Anthony and Gabriel. (Big Gabe...lol!)...my younger brothers... I smile just thinking about you both. You bring me so much joy and laughter. You guys are changing the world and will continue to change it. I believe in you and your music. Anthony is graduating in a few months, and I do get a little emotional about that. I am so proud of him. I love the random conversations that we have. Although I am not sure if he is really listening when I am talking to him, and...well, I guess I don't really mind if he is or not. I just enjoy the time with him. Gabe! I have known Gabe for a short time, but he became a good friend and brother fast. That's because he a true blue, the real thing. His passion for God is challenging and contagious. If you are friends with Gabe, then you are blessed by God.

This if for all the kids in my life...Kyle, Kortni, Sydney, Joshua, and Gabriel (little Gabe)... I have the privilege of meeting and getting to know you all at an early age. I hope that I will be a good example, friend, and sister to you all. I promise that I will try to make every birthday party, every school play, Christmas play, graduation, etc... You all are life givers, and you truly do bring a smile to my face. I am so happy that I get to watch all of you grow up into men and women of God. You have a  part to play in this world, and I will be there to help watch your backs.

This is for my family. I carry you all in my heart. I know that whenever I start to feel lonely or depressed, or just start feeling sorry for myself, all I have to do is take a look around me. I will see that my life is rich and that I have so much to be thankful for. I am truly blessed. Love is all around me. I hope that this blog will uplift you now and in the future. I am your friend, sister, daughter, and I will be there for you all as much as I can.

I don't know why God has blessed me so richly by putting you all in my life, but I am oh so grateful that He did.

Blessings to you all! I LOVE YOU!

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

...and then I realized that I hadn't lost it...

For the longest time I thought that I had lost my fight. Then I began to realize that I hadn't lost it, I just stopped fighting. I felt as though I was a wounded warrior who had forgotten why I was even created. But even a wounded warrior has a choice to fight through their pain, and will most likely come out all the stronger.


Just yesterday, God reminded me that all the years that I had believed that I lost my strength, that it has been apart of me the whole time. I just wasn't using it. 


I'm seeing again. I'm believing again. I'm breathing again. I actually felt happy today! 


I am thankful to have God working things for my good all around me, even when I didn't notice and was ungrateful, and selfish. He NEVER stopped believing in me. He always saw my beauty in the midst of my darkness. 


There is an excitement in my heart for  the things to come. I can't say that I know for sure what they all are, but I know they are coming. I am hopeful. 


This warrior is no longer wounded. This warrior is healed and alive! I fight now because I know that I can't lose! God is forever with me and forever sees me. 


I welcome 2012 with a war cry of JOY!!